August 21

August 21, 2017

This is a world that at times does not make sense. That is most of every day. We all have our routines, and goals, sure, but we come across things and situations that we just can’t control or understand. And that stinks for those of us who like to both understand and control.

So you have to play the long game at times.

Today was a day that was productive locally. I’ve gotten many thousands of words down on formerly blank pages. My laundry and housework got done, my dog cared for and cleaned. My back hurts and I haven’t been sleeping well, but it could be much worse, as I could be laid up in bed permanently or even paralyzed, which I’m not. It’s about maintaining while building myself up.

The solar eclipse was a nice distraction for a few minutes. It reminded me of the dark and rainy days Portland has where sunlight is only a dream backed by a twinkle in someone’s eye from a distant memory from summertime. Basically, October through May. The really good days and the real reason to live in Portland anyway, if you ask me. I just had too much sun living down in Phoenix for the first 32 years of my life. It was time for something different.

But I didn’t know it would be this different.

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August 18

August 18, 2017

I care what people think. So do you. It does depend on what people you’re talking about.

Lately realizing real truths about human nature and that some people are honestly past the point of actually flipping to a degree of tolerance, I know that I care about what people think. But not every person. I care about what respectable people think. And many I have met are not those people. Real life people, too. Not the Internet people that are usually just spouting off unoriginal thoughts in their own echo chamber, comfortably still in their overnight pajamas, even at three in the afternoon. I care what respectable people think.

The people that you surround yourself with partially define you. They don’t define all of you. Only you know what defines you in the most absolute sense. It can take a lifetime to understand yourself, but it may only take a few minutes. It’s that broad range in the middle that most of us discover just what we’re made of and what we will do to test our mettle.

Today’s a day where we’re again waking up to the hangover of a world city having terrorism strike it. Today is a day where I want to do well and have good conversations with quality people, and not waste spoken words to those who don’t want to offer quality responses. It’s a difficult time, because this usually isn’t possible. My optimism remains, however. You’ve got to hold onto something, and this is one of those things.

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